The Great Ghosting: What Happens When Society Stops Texting You Back

September 16, 2025 3 min read

The Great Ghosting: What Happens When Society Stops Texting You Back

We are all familiar with the concept of "ghosting." That sudden, infuriating silence from someone you were dating, a friend, or even a potential employer. One minute you’re in a conversation, the next you’re left staring at your screen, wondering what you did wrong. It’s a feeling of rejection, confusion, and utter powerlessness.  

But as a woman of 53, I’ve discovered there’s a bigger, more insidious ghosting happening. It’s not about one person. It’s about society. And for millions of women, it begins the moment they reach a certain age.

It’s a slow fade at first, then all at once. It’s being discussed in a meeting; you’re more than qualified to lead. It’s the door that’s no longer held open, but slams in your face, being ignored in clothes shops. The list is endless. It’s the creeping, maddening feeling of becoming invisible in plain sight.  

This isn’t in your head. It’s a well-documented phenomenon called “Invisible Woman Syndrome,” and it’s the societal equivalent of being left on read, permanently.  

An Industry Built on Our Disappearance

Think about the language we’re sold every single day. It’s not about “ageing gracefully” anymore. It’s “anti-ageing.” It’s “age reversal,” “age-defying,” “fighting the signs of ageing.” The entire beauty and wellness industry often seems built on the premise that ageing is a disease to be cured, a flaw to be erased. And I should know. As the founder of ReverieLuxe, I see this every day.

We’re handed a million tiny tools to stop the inevitable, with the unspoken promise that if we try hard enough—if we buy the right cream, get the proper treatment, dye the grey—we can hold on to our social currency. But it’s a game we’re designed to lose. Because the moment the world decides you look your age, it starts to look right through you.  

The double standard is infuriating. Men get to be “silver foxes,” ageing with “wisdom and distinction.” We become “invisible”. A friend of mine decided to stop colouring her hair, and the first question she got was, “What does your husband think?” She shot back, “No one ever asked me what I thought about him going bald”. And that says it all.  

From Invisibility Cloak to Superpower

For a while, it can feel devastating. Many of us, even strong, confident feminists, feel a strange sense of shame for caring about something so “superficial”. But you’re not mourning the loss of catcalls; you’re grieving the loss of social power and relevance that, whether we asked for it or not, was tied to our youth.  

But what if we turned the story around? What if this invisibility wasn’t a curse, but a kind of superpower?

Across the internet, in forums and group chats, women are talking about the profound liberation that comes with being unseen. The freedom from the constant, exhausting weight of the male gaze. The joy of wearing whatever the hell you want because it makes you feel good, not because it’s “age-appropriate” or designed to please someone else.  

I like to see it as finally shedding an outgrown shell to become my own authentic self—the person I was on track to be before the world told me who I should be.

How to Age Out Loud

This isn’t about accepting erasure. It’s about choosing to be visible on your own terms. It’s about deciding that your value is not, and never was, up for public debate. It’s an inside job.  

So, how do we fight the ghosting? We refuse to be ghosts.

  • Be Vocal: Speak up. Share your opinions. Introduce yourself. Don’t let anyone talk over you. Your voice has been earned over decades of experience; use it.  
  • Wear Your Joy: Ditch the idea of “age-appropriate” style. If you love it, wear it. Be bold. Be vibrant. Your style is your self-expression, not a costume for public approval.  
  • Find Your People: Surround yourself with people of all ages who see you, hear you, and respect you. Build a community that reflects your values.  
  • Live Out Loud: As author Émile Zola said, “I am here to live out loud”. Don’t shrink. Don’t fade. Take up space. Your presence is powerful.  

The world may try to ghost you, but it only works if you let it. You are not disappearing. You’re just getting started.